Day 180: Crashing A wedding

Movies make everything look glamorous. I believe this to be especially true when it comes to the movie Wedding Crashers. Perfect wedding, perfect crash. Just how it should be. Or not. We’d like to think that we can make our lives, make reality like a movie. But real life is far from the prefect ending, and tonight I found myself far from the perfect wedding.

All dolled-up, but not too flashy to attract attention, Bec, Dana and I arrive at the scene. Hotel Bethlehem, known for their beautiful (and ritzy) weddings, was all abuzz with two wedding receptions underway, one upstairs and one downstairs. We picked this venue based on a previous experience there. Attending a rehearsal dinner, we noticed how easy it would’ve been to slip into one of the reception halls unnoticed. The bars were outside in the lobby, and guests (most half-drunk) were milling all around. If tonight was anything like that, we’d be on the dance floor doing the electric slide with the bride and groom in no time! Unfortunately, that “if” turned into an “if only”- a wish for something that wasn’t.

Enter mean, intimidating, looming, wired, security guards. The minute we walked into the hotel, they had us sniffed out like dogs to a meat bone. I, however, did not know this, and so I was able to enjoy the first 10 minutes of our “scoping out” with a naive sense of anticipation and anxiety. We passed the Johnston wedding and made our way upstairs to see what the Taylor wedding had to offer us. Between the barricaded, closed doors, and the posse of hotel staff lingering outside in the hall, it was clear that we were being offered, well… nothing.

And this was the minute where Dana informed us that we had been and were being watched by the big guys. We were now playing a whole new game. We were in the big leagues.

We headed back downstairs to the Johnston wedding and I started making my way over to the entrance, trying to blend in with the guests in the lobby. The bride was standing right inside the reception hall, making it impossible for us to go all the way in to where the real party was happening. While skimming the “welcoming” table, I read about old Opa, grandfather to the bride, and looked at some pictures. I tried to add my congratulations to the happy couple on their “memory” plate, but the dumb dry-erase marker had run out. It’s too bad. I’m sure the Johnstons would have really appreciated it.

We were trying to figure out how to make our way into the party, when the bride came out into the lobby with some bridesmaids and headed toward the bathroom. Now was our perfect chance to get to the dance floor. And then Bec let out a gasp.

“OH MY GOSH! I know the bride! I know the bride! From work! I can’t go in, what if she sees me? I don’t want anything to happen!” And she was right, of course. What could she say? “Oh hey, how was your time at your wedding? Mine was great. Yea, I unknowingly crashed your wedding. Oops.”? I don’t think so.

All at once, our dreams of the electric slide and pictures with the groomsmen fell to the floor in a puddle of a wedding crash gone wrong. One of us knew one of them! We were doomed. And that wasn’t our only problem.

All the while, the big guys with the earpieces were slowly closing in on us. We escaped the laughing and marital bliss and headed to the bathroom, running into another wedding guest. We started chatting it up with “Betty”.  She asked if we were attending the wedding upstairs to which we quickly replied, “yes”. We sweet-talked her up, telling her that the wedding she was at sounded and probably was way more fun than ours (if the guests we had run into at both were any indication, this was definitely the truth!). She loved it.

She was wearing a glowstick bracelet, which we found out was part of the fun. Apparently the DJ was handing them out and all the guests had them. And then, something beautiful happened. She gave me her bracelet! This was my in! And, it matched my dress!

We happily made our way from the bathroom, Dana and I ready to hit the dance floor with my new, shiny bracelet. Our happiness was short-lived. Walking out of the bathroom, I practically ran head-on into a security guy. Bec and Dana turned back into the bathroom, and I was left to fend for myself. I watched him out of the corner of my eye and acted cool. He went over to the banister overlooking  the lobby and stood there, all nonchalant-like . So… I went over to the banister overlooking the lobby and stood there, all nonchalant-like.

Finally, Bec and Dana made an appearance and we all made our way downstairs, our tail keeping close.

This was not happening. Our crash was over. The guests were great, the music was great, the happy couple looked great, but the dancing? Well, we’ll never know if that was great. But I must say, I would totally be up for having my wedding at Hotel Bethlehem. At least I know the security is tight enough to protect my cake (or ice cream sundae bar:) from any crashers. I’d like to see Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson make it into that one!

P.S. We left our phones in the car, so no pictures were taken. Here is one of me after the fact with my special wedding bracelet!

Thanks for the bracelet, Mr. and Mrs. Johnston! Congrats!

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