Day 134: Cleaning out the litter box. Yes, I actually did this.

If I told you I was a cat person, I’d be lying. I am a loyal friend of dogs and although I won’t leave your cat out in the rain to drown, I certainly don’t care to have it rubbing up against me with its beady eyes, and playing its vicious mind games with snobbery. (Note: there are some exceptions, mostly kittens…)

Thank goodness I was born into a dog-loving family (although if they had liked cats, maybe I’d like them too). It’s for this reason I have never had to experience the awful job of cleaning out a litter box.

A litter box. Talk about disgusting. I mean, if you think about it, it’s like the animal equivalent of our porta-potties. The cats go to the same toilet, but the stuff just sits there and accumulates and smells until one very unfortunate soul comes and takes it away. Tonight, I was that unfortunate soul.
My friends, Dan and Jodi, were more than willing to offer up their cat’s litter box for my use. They have a cute cat named Jack (He’s one of the exceptions I mentioned earlier, although he’s not a kitten, and this picture doesn’t do him justice.)

Jodi escorted me to the litter box (she really did… I might have run away while approaching the thing if I wasn’t being supervised). While trying to prolong the inevitable, I learned a lot about the litter box process. For instance, I learned that you can buy litter that clumps together and I also learned that some cats actually cover up their poop by themselves. Jack apparently does this to the extreme… so who knew what I was going to uncover in there.

As I approached the box, bag and scooper in hand, Jodi gave me a word of advice: “Breath through your mouth!”  I felt like I was hearing my last words upon my death. But I quickly took those words to heart as a stench unknown to mankind reached my nose. OH. MY. GROSS!

I started scooping… frantically. I couldn’t breathe! All this time I thought scooping up dog poop was bad, but at least I wasn’t so close to the stuff! It was amazing what little Jack could hide in all that litter!

The job obviously only took a minute or so, but it was a minute too long. I immediately went into the kitchen and washed my hands. I am never getting a cat.

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