Day 93: Call of Duty and Gears of War 3 Beta

Yes, I am completely aware that the above title sounds like a language from another world. Well, it is. It’s from the world of video gaming, and now having been there and back, I can assure you that it isn’t pretty.

I am not a gamer. In fact, I am so not a gamer, that I’ve been beaten mercilessly by one of the boys I babysit for the last three year. He is now only 8. (And those were the easy games!) Call of Duty and Gears of War 3 Beta are both Xbox live games; the latter being one that has not yet hit stores, but is available to only a select group (my brother-in-law being in it).  Up until now, I have only ever observed Xbox live from afar (actually I was rather close- on the treadmill right behind the couch where Greg was playing, to be exact, but you know what I mean:) Tonight, I was given the… ah… what some might say is a privilege… of being introduced to the online world of gaming, where no one is nice to you and everyone gets left behind. And don’t let me forget the foul mouths.

The first game I played, Call of Duty, was supposed to be an easy intro before the ever-more intense Gears of War. Well, intro it might have been, but easy it was not. “I was bad at it” would be the understatement of the year. I was so excruciatingly awful at this game that it was painful for Greg to watch. After the first “round” or whatever you call it- “game”, maybe?- my kill status was 0-11. For those of you who are lucky enough to not have gone to video game world, that means I didn’t kill anybody and I was killed 11 times. Super. Anybody want to pick me for their team?? Didn’t think so. (It’s a good thing Xbox randomly matches you up with other gamers. If everyone picked their team, I would never play.)

Picture me on the couch with a microphone hooked onto my ear (so I can hear all the foul-mouthed players I’m playing with), my fingers furiously moving (which seemed to be to no avail), and my eyes bugging out of my head, glued to the screen. Meanwhile, Greg is frantically calling out instructions for me to follow so I wont die… for the 7th time.

Me: “What do I do, what do I do?!”

Greg: “Look left! Don’t walk, left with your vision! He’s on your left! Shoot! Shoot!”

Me: “I don’t see…. oops, too late.”

It was very intense. I can’t say that really enjoyed it. In fact I hated it. But, can you blame me? Would anyone enjoy being destroyed at something and having to try and try again only to keep getting annihilated? I’m sure that if I was awesome at it, I would love it. I mean, after I played, Greg finished a round and single-handedly killed multiple enemies in a row without a second thought. Piece of cake.

I will admit that I must have gotten somewhat better over the course of my playing. I mean, I had 2 kills in the second half. Even if the one guy let me kill him, I’ll take what I can get. It still counts.

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